For years, I have allowed an inferiority complex to affect my confidence in the craft of playing the piano. After much reflection (I will write on that in upcoming projects), I was able to unearth my very real lack of confidence and belief in my passion for music, the piano, and the art of playing for the joy of it.

In honour of my Baldwin, which I am coming to terms with that needs to be replaced, I have been reflecting on the genuine art and craft of playing piano

Mind

To my second teacher's chagrin, I had mostly skimmed over piano theory as a young child. To her credit, she imparted in me a relentless study of the art of sight reading and although unable to pick up a complex chopin like a professional pianist and play it without hesitation or perfection, I am able to skim play the most simple and complex of pieces for understanding and follow that up to take each bar at a time, each measure, each hand and break it down.
Without this skill, the pieces I play would lack in their quality.

Body

It’s easy to become self-conscious about how you look as you play. When I play at my best, I often find I look ridiculous. To be lost and fully immersed in music is to be free of self, aware only of the notes, the sound, the cadence, and the moment that you are in. For the body as well as the mind, music and playing instruments are a form of meditation, and letting go and letting go of your physical self is half the battle.

Soul

I play not because I am perfect but because I am fed by the playing. There is a room inside al of us that is warm, breezy and free from judgement. This room I find in music, the sound of the ocean and the weightless feeling of a memorized piece of music falling out of my fingertips.
I have always chased the ability to return to this room no matter how many dark hallways life likes to place in my way.

Creating is a unique art where tools and methods are used seemingly at random but all have their place in the inner workings of an artists tool kit.
For me, I find it is the unique journey of each project that tells me which tools I need, which tools I can let go of and which tools I have that I will reach for again and again.

Here are this years current items:

Writing

Grammarly

Although expensive as all get out, I find Grammarly, the hard-working editor, behind my shoulder that I can’t afford to pay. She runs alongside me, catching tone, word choices and structure issues without much effort and as far as AI tools go, she’s one I can live with.

Pages

Being an Apple product user, I pages the app I write documents on.

Final Draft 12

Although screenwriting and playwriting are not mediums of writing that I have spent much time in the past few years, Final Draft has allowed me to dip in and out of the medium with ease and practicality. It easily formats scripts and keeps all notations and edits at your fingertips.

POCKET-SIZED Moleskin Notebooks

Being a highly analoge focused, I keep these pocket-sized notebooks close to organize project notes on the go, various themes of life and work, etc.

Leuchtturm1917 Notebooks

I design these notebooks every year using the Bullet Journal Method. It took many years to get the layouts the way I wanted. Using this method takes the yearly changes and adjustments of a new day planner out of the equation and keeps me flowing in productivity from one year to the next.

Sharpie Pens

I was raised by someone who sold pens for a living (among other things), and the number of pens that multiplied in our home was unreal. It made me want to live a less cluttered ‘pen life.’ Once I found the Sharpie pen, I never looked back. It’s the only pen I will use. It's simple and understated.

Producing

Final Cut Pro

Essential for editing film footage of any kind. Final Cut is UI-friendly, with many features and tools to discover.

Garage Band

For basic sound needs, Garage Band keeps serving. A quick tutorial can give you the basic vocabulary of how to use it, and it does the trick for about eighty percent of my audio needs.

Audacity

Audacity does what Garage Band can’t. It’s not as UI-friendly, but a few tutorials gave me the tools to help fine-tune my files.

Cannon Camera EOS RP

Having a camera, which I can use for any project, both personal and professional, is essential. I am not a professional photographer or cinematographer, but it gives me the ability to point, shoot and capture what needs to be done.

Recording

Zoom H4N Pro

Compact and an excellent quality recorder for in-the-field documentary/reporting work.
If you live in windy locations like I do, you should invest in a wind sock.

iPhone 13

In the multi-media creative industries, a smartphone is a must.
No explanation at this point in time should be needed for why.

Wabi Sabi | Beth Kempton

A beautiful exploration of the meanings and feelings behind the Japanese concept of wabi-wabi and how we have misunderstood it for years.

A Court of Wings and Ruin | Sarah J. Maas

A continuation of Feyre’s journey. It's not my favourite in the series, but it did its job to move the plot along and bring us to the fourth installment.

TV SERIES / FILMS OF NOTE

Moonshine S01 - because it’s homegrown (filmed in Nova Scotia) & the storytelling stands tall.
Emily in Paris S02 - because it’s perfectly cute, witty, charming and paced perfectly.

Late last year, I began to work alongside Lynn Matheson and Accessible Media Inc. to help produce an episode of Our Community on MusGO Rider, a rural transportation association serving the Eastern Shore, Valley, and Sheet Harbour areas.

What is AMI?

Although not my first time involved in an AMI production, it has been many years, and I am reminded of the impact their not-for-profit platform provides, specifically in their work in Integrated Described Video, which is an art in and of itself. Their mission is clear, and their delivery and innovation are inspiring.

What is Our Community?

Our Community is a series that highlights the people, places, organizations or things that have made life more enjoyable for Canadians with a disability.

What’s Next?

With just weeks to go before production, we are pleased to see this project moving forward and excited to continue the work until it makes its last pass before airing.

****It’s never a waste of time to come alongside someone with a passionate heart and a keen eye for the story behind an organization. I am thrilled to be behind Lynn Matheson and her careful, mindful work.

Happier Than Ever Vinyl | Billie Eilish

For my Winter record, I chose Billie’s crooning voice mixed with all those intense beats. This is my favourite record of hers so far. She captures that confusion, anger, heart ache and hopeful plot twist in a handful of songs.

Gold Note Pad | Duly Noted

I Christmas shopped around this particular square notepad for weeks. Finally, in the new year, I indulged in purchasing it for my desk.

[EDIT] Magazine Winter Edition | [EDIT]

I appreciate an artistic think piece packaged in a magazine, and [Edit] here in the Maritimes delivers such a thing. I enjoyed slowly reading a copy and encouraged anyone local to order the latest or another magazine that offers a similarly immersive experience in words, images, and culture.

Remedy Kombucha | Sobeys / Local Stores

This became a staple in our fridge during the many weeks of winter while I observed Lent. (this year, I chose to give up alcohol. Other years, social media, etc)
I love the lack of sugar in this kombucha brand, and my favourite flavour is not pictured here: mango passion.

Moleskin Pocket Notebooks | Duly Noted

Although can find these in many places, I like being able to purchase them from a more locally owned store. Duly Noted is a favourite of mine.

Vessels & Muses Oracle Deck | Zoë Pawlak

A Christmas gift from a best friend. These beautiful cards come with engaging journal prompts and thought pieces. Perfect for a creative spirit. I have taken to the habit of pulling a new card every new moon to meditate on and reflect over the month while I work.

Over the past few years, working on audio documentaries has become a passion and a joy. Being freelance has allowed me to source stories, serve unheard voices, and create a systematic and holistic approach to my craft. Rather than churning out content week by week, I can go deeper into my research and sources and take the time with each voice rather than hurry the scripts into production.

On the other hand,

I have no idea where my next documentary will come from. The ideas, leads, questions, and curiosities that develop into a story worth hearing and telling do not just suddenly land on my desk, ready to go.

I Listen & Watch

I pay attention to everything around me. What are people going through? What topics are rising to the surface? Who is not feeling heard? What is surprising? What is unsurprising? Who is angry? Who is hurt? Who is heard from often? Who is heard from rarely?

I discern

Often, a story that needs to be told will become something I have underlined repeatedly. A collection of screenshots on my phone or a thought I have written down more than once. It becomes louder in my head until I intuit deeply there is something there.

I listen again

I go back to my notes and screenshots and re-read and observe the snippets of a story I have accidentally collected over time.

I Get curious

I wonder aloud to myself, the internet, and books at large if other people know about ‘this.’ I write down what I believe would give me answers. I drop the topic in relevant conversations and see if it raises more thoughts. I consider what the format might be, stumble into voices, and start to ask to talk to them to approach this new story.

I ask questions

I ask more questions and begin to discern which voice has the answers, perspectives or ideas I still need to include.

I listen again

I listen to them and set up times to record.

I record.

I hold space for their story.

I listen again.

I listen back, transcribing on my laptop as I go.

I highlight

I print out the transcription and read back, highlighting what is essential.

I Lay it all out.

I lay out all the transcriptions, focusing on the highlighted portions to find the story.

I listen & piece it together.

I begin to put the story together, listening back to each segment as I go, confirming each voice's pace, accuracy, and intention.

I listen again.

I listen to each portion in order, confirming continuity and maintaining accuracy.

I double check.

I circle back and ask questions about lack of clarity and confirm simple but essential things like pronunciation of names.

I listen again.

I listen to my finalized draft/audio.

I submit the final script

I let it go, applied incoming notes from executive producers, and often adjusted the scripts the day of recording, adding, removing, and making on-the-spot adjustments as needed.

The Confession | Jessie Burton

Jessie Burton has a way of weaving secrets and intricacies within characters. It is a fingerprint on all of her novels. This is a story of women trying to find themselves within each other.

Conceal, Don’t Feel: A Twisted Tale | Jen Calonita

I enjoy dipping back into Young Adult fiction from time to time. Disney contracts with various writers to create twisted versions of their stories, which are fun, easy to read, and don’t stray too far from the original's beats. With this one, we see what would have happened if Anna and Elsa had grown up without knowing each other.

The Doll Factory | Elizabeth Macneal

This book kept me glued the entire time. It was strange, alluring and twisted all at once. Set in 1850’s London, it has notes of the gritty, unforgiving world that Charles Dickens so often wrote about. This book is exceedingly unique.

FILMS/TV SERIES OF NOTE

Alaska Daily S01 - because despite of it being cancelled after the first season, it captures the plight and work of those searching for answers regarding Missing Murdered and Indigenous Women.
Upload S03 - because it’s intriguing to see where they will evolve this concept of ‘uploads’ season after season.
Silver Linings Playbook - Mental Health and its various nuances were just beginning to be openly discussed during the early 2010s. This film is a favourite of mine as it tenderly showcases the mess and the beauty of what it means to be struggling and find ‘a silver lining’.

In the late spring of 2023,

I began to stumble upon the growing desire to dig deeper into my craft of documenting and writing. As with anything, there is a point where you realize you can continue as you have been or dig in deeper and search for a type of growth that will genuinely grow and challenge you.

With the encouragement of a handful of close and trusted colleagues, friends and family, I began asking what it might take for someone like me to seek a place in a master's program. I expected the doors to be firmly closed and locked in place. Yet, it was in this process that I discovered something else.

I discovered that the more I asked questions, the more doors opened. The more I tip-toed near the edge of possibility, the more the call from the unknown beckoned me to jump.

So jump I did. I spent the summer and early autumn preparing and finishing my application for this master's program. It was a labour of love over the project I am going forward with and, most importantly, a labour of love for myself.

I am worthy of a higher education, worthy of taking myself seriously, and most certainly deserving within my craft.

Despite having a close Uncle who makes a living playing board games, I cannot say I have adopted this hobby as part of my everyday lifestyle. This is partly due to my lack of patience to learn more extended gameplay (*said Uncle will happily attest to this), partly due to already having a long list of hobbies I upkeep (reading being top of the list), and also partly due to the stage of life I have been in regarding my career, interests, parenting, etc.

Turning the page from 2023 to 2024, I have a renewed appreciation for what collective gameplay can bring to one’s life. I have begun to incorporate weekly family game time into our routines. *Don’t get me wrong—we have missed some weeks this year (illness, overtiredness, busyness, etc.)

Overall, playing games together has been a grounding act of togetherness.

Adding New Games to Our Collection

Christmas is an excellent time to add a few new games to our collection. I usually note a game we played during the year or a well-talked-about game and ensure we have it included under the tree.

Playing through Our Collection

I am very dedicated to minimalism, not by aesthetics but by the peace of mind. Clutter and collections can quickly get out of hand. We often end up with an excess we don’t use or appreciate collecting dust rather than being enjoyed. This year, I am trying to play every game in our collection to discern if it stays or is time to go. (games for toddlers are an excellent example of what is leaving our house, as our almost nine-year-old is well past this stage)

Board Game Café’s

I first went to a board game cafe in Montreal, and recently, we made a point of going to our local one as a family. This is a great way to play new games and determine whether you like them.

Playing by the Rules

I admit, growing up, I would fudge the rules—not out of a desire but out of pure laziness to take the time to understand the proper gameplay. (There is that lack of patience again.) Taking the time to understand the rules through the game directions or simply pulling up a YouTube video that does a play-through can be the difference between a game of annoying starts and stops or a game of fun.

One Game Session a Week

Life is full. Making a point to look for a window (often at breakfast or dinner time on a weekend) where we can pull out a game and play one round is a bonding practice.

Get a stack of playing cards

Any set will do. If it’s fun for you, do research and take the time to find a set for your year that reflects your personal aesthetic or vision for the year. My set for 2024 was the Esoteric Playing Cards.

pull out the aces

Open the box and remove the aces, keeping them with you daily.

Meditate and reflect on goals, dreams, and risks you could take

Take time to journal, reflect and take stock of where you want to go - think big and small.

Quietly create a plan to reach a goal, take a risk, make progress on a dream

Create a reasonable and attainable plan within a year to reach a goal, outcome, or way to accomplish progress. Work quietly on this.

When you decide you’ve reached YOUR goal, took a risk, made progress on your dream…

Only you know what that end outcome is.

Leave an ace behind as a calling card.

Wherever you have accomplished a goal, dream, or risk - leave your ace behind. Take a picture. Hold a ceremony and celebrate the work you did to get you there.

JOIN / FOLLOW THE JOURNEY

Instagram
#playedmyace #playyourace #theacedare

PREVIOUS ACE DARE POSTS

The Ace Dare

Inward | Yung Pueblo

A beautiful collection of poetry from Yung Pueblo.

before i could release
the weight of my sadness
and pain, i first had
to honor it’s existence

- Yung Pueblo

The Dictionary of Lost Words | Pip Williams

A fascinating tale of the creation and process of developing the Oxford dictionary within a whimsical and almost magical telling. Within the pages of this book are threads of humanity and feminism that hit deep and communicate a more prominent theme of why words and their meanings matter.

Throne of Glass | Sarah J. Maas

Another fantasy read from Sarah J. Maas features a heroine who is known as an assassin in her fight for freedom. It's not my favourite of Sarah’s books, but it's a great winter fantasy read.

FILMS / TV SERIES OF NOTE

Murder on the Orient Express - because Agatha Christie adaptations are always entertaining… and the snow atmosphere in this one.
Back in Time for Winter - because three days with a high fever needed something cozy and vaguely entertaining. This family was perfectly cast for this series.
The Bear S02 - because it’s one of today's best series and deserves all the accolades regarding story and character development.

creativity | ˌkrēāˈtivədē | noun the use of the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work: firms are keen to encourage creativity.

Creativity, alongside its necessary partner' curiosity,' has been the foundation of how I have developed and honed my craft over the years.

Because of this passionate love and pursuit of creativity, I have found myself in various creative industry mediums (radio, scriptwriting, playwriting, comedy writing, film, articles, and web multimedia). It continues to be the heartbeat behind all that I do.

Creative Writer

A Creative writer approaches each writing piece or project with the concept that they discover the authenticity and strength of the material as they go along. They bring not only what they understand about the subject but also all the elements of life around them to fully develop a narrative and paint a picture for the readers of what they desire to communicate.
Creative writing is less about proving a point and more about showcasing an idea, belief or feeling through the art of words.

Creative Producer

A producer can be many things depending on the project they are working on, but in this case, my approach in creative producing has been and always will be as a vision advocate. Every project has its own unique tone, voice, narrative and hook. Taking the time to come alongside a story/project and help shape it and walk it into its fullness is an act of being able to honour it through all its needed changes while also intuitively knowing what is non-negotiable in its creation.
Creative Producing is, in its entirety, a position of intuitive discernment and advocacy for the overall project.

.Watching the resurgence of the vinyl experience come back to mainstream spoke to my cassette tape and CD upbringing. Being a romantic by nature, any chance to luxuriate in the knowledge of art, be it food, dance, music, film, plays, atmosphere, nature - any of it, I will take it.

Since purchasing a flueance turntable, I have followed a few values to keep this hobby intentional.

One New Vinyl a Season.

As with anything in this day and age, it would be easy to begin collecting as many records as fast as possible for the display recognition, as well as the clout, but for me, it’s imperative that each added record has meaning to me, merit musically, adds to my atmosphere and creates conversation. Adding only one every season allows me to think each new one through and enjoy the luxury of each new listen.
***gifted vinyls & an annual Christmas album notwithstanding

The Album must be an EXPERIENCE.

Each new album must be musically and or lyrically an impactful experience. We all have individual tastes in music, and what speaks to one of us may not speak to all of us, but it must at least speak to me and have a throughline that one can follow within the whole album.

First Listening Sessions.

Upon purchase of a new album, the first listen is accompanied by a beverage (whiskey or wine are my favourites), a sit-down, and reading along with the music of the lyrics. These nights open up much discussion about art, life, love and all the natural and raw things music often finds a way to discuss and explore.

Aces

Aces.

Amy Grace wearing black holding ace playing cards. Font overlay reads: A Year of Aces - 2024 - byamygrace

ace1 | ās | noun

1 a playing card with a single spot on it, ranked as the highest card in its suit in most card games: the ace of diamonds | life had started dealing him aces again figurative.

2 a person who excels at a particular sport or other activity.

3 a service that an opponent is unable to touch and thus wins a point.

PHRASES

an ace up one's sleeve.
a plan or piece of information kept secret until it becomes necessary to use it.
hold all the aces.
play one's ace.

I took unusually long to find a word that would encompass this new year. In fact, I left it until the last twelve hours of 2023. What choosing a word for each new year has taught me, is that they are incredibly prophetic, delightfully inspiring and deeply powerful.

Why Ace?

Too long I have played it safe. I have played the lowest to lower cards in my hand because it kept me safe from criticism, safe from the unknowns and most importantly safe from risk.
I have flirted with playing more risky hands from time to time, but almost always I find my way back to that safe place where I feel sure that I won’t loose anything in the process.

In many respects this has served me well.
My professional and personal growth have all paced at a speed that I can manage, I have been able to maintain bridges with those who have come in and out of my life and for the most part I have been able to maintain my own desired lifestyle in a manageable way.

Yet this pace has become altogether too slow.
I have been holding on to projects, opportunities, ideas, skills, words and adventures as if playing them would risk it all.
Maybe it will.
But
Maybe it won’t.

This year I am going to be watching, learning and discerning how and when to play my aces.

This year I am going to learn to embrace the risks.

& this year, I am going to stop playing it safe.

Onwards,

PREVIOUS ONEWORDS

2023
2022
2021
2020

res·o·nance| ˈrezənəns | noun
1 the quality in a sound of being deep, full, and reverberating: the resonance of his voice. • the ability to evoke or suggest images, memories, and emotions: the concepts lose their emotional resonance.
2 Physics the reinforcement or prolongation of sound by reflection from a surface or by the synchronous vibration of a neighboring object.
3 the condition in which an electric circuit or device produces the largest possible response to an applied oscillating signal, especially when its inductive and its capacitative reactances are balanced.

I leave the last hours of 2023 in awe.

Within 356 days, I have found a strength and understanding of myself that I had no idea was waiting for me.

I think of the voices who came alongside me. Those select family members, friends, and colleagues who didn’t let my self-doubt get in the way.

This year, I broke barriers of who I believed myself to be.

I trained myself to align with what would make my work and voice sound more precise, robust and profound.
I produced pieces that I knew would change the trajectory and plights of those in circumstances that needed help.
I connected and was softly mentored by local pillars in the audio medium.
I allowed myself to explore an arena I once believed was above me.
I applied my ideas and passion for a level of training that would change my approach and career.
I gained the awareness and tools to navigate generational and personal trauma.
I navigated the differences with grace, strength and tenderness towards others and myself.

I leave this year prouder and more robust than ever.

Yet as I say that, my eyes glisten with tears, and a deep ache presses against my heart.
I am learning to accept that with profound growth and progress comes a raw ache that exists hand in hand. One doesn’t come without the other.

I have lived a year of bliss and ache in a way I never have before.

Living reaching for resonance has reminded me of my values, abilities, and genuine pain.
They exist hand in hand.

Only hours are left on the clock of 2023, and still, I find thank-you on my lips.

Thank you to the pain.
Thank you to the bliss.
Thank you to the heartache.
Thank you to the courage.
Thank you to the ones who held me.
Thank you to the ones who hurt me.

These lessons are forever tattooed on my heart & with their sacred marks, I go.

Onwards,

Closer By Sea | Perry Chafe

It is an East Coast tale of a missing girl, a boy who knew her, and all the shrouded foggy mystery surrounding life's heartbreaking happenings. A bit of fog, thoughtfulness, coastal tall tales and the creatures that make us. It is a good read for anyone who wants to smell The Atlantic Ocean in their mind’s eye.

The Crane Wife | CJ Hauser

Initially taken in by CJ’s essay “The Crane Wife,” which came out in The Paris Review, this memoir of essays adds depth and perspective to the whole of CJ. Her writing style has a curt beauty to it and her delivery often leaves you flipping to the next essay with curiosity.

Tiny Beautiful Things | Cheryl Strayed

The book behind the beautiful heart-aching television series where all the ‘Dear Sugars’ are documented. I truly enjoyed each letter and response.

Not a Happy Family | Shari Lapena

Another ‘who dun it’ mystery shrouded in the resentments of a family, the trauma of individuals and the endless possibilities of just one night. It's a great rapid read for those who like good suspense.

TV SERIES / FILMS OF NOTE

Babes in Toyland - Because a nostalgic christmas movie within Disneys first ever live action musical is worth a re-watch.
Darling Lily - because a Julie Andrews film has more vintage sass, humour and quirk than anything that could come out today.
Alaska Daily S01 - because stories featuring the plight of MMIWG have value.

Embracing the Humble Realities of Being a Beginner
Again and Again.

Daring to Go Off Script
You are free to be different than what they cast you as.

Audaciously Showing Up
It’s not about perfection, it’s about the belief in the desire to rise to the calling.

Honouring My Story
Recognizing what I experienced is my own to hold space for, learn from and share when, how and if I so desire.

Honouring Their Story
Recognizing what they experienced doesn’t have to align with my own for me to respect the differences.

Authenticity
The closer I get to the core of all of me, the more real I become.

Practicing the Art of Safety
Our words, tone, approach and delivery will be the home we make not just for ourselves but for all those who enter our atmosphere.

Sounding the Alarm
Calling out danger, toxicity, bullying, aggression, fear etc will always lead to saved lives, including your own.

How I Found My Voice…. was written after months of processing what it looks like to use your voice in a pointed and careful way only to have it thrown back at you in rage, disdain and contempt.  Through that experience I reflected on the journey that has made me audacious enough to believe that all voices, words and thoughts matter, including ones own.
It’s how we express ourselves outwardly and inwardly that ultimately defines a voice that tears down or that builds up.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts often considered taboo.

Saje Extra Strength Pain Relieving Remedy | Saje

I often avoid looking at stores where I know I will become addicted to their aesthetics and products. As a reluctant shopper and self-proclaimed minimalist, I take each purchase seriously and have been hesitant to look at what Saje has to offer. My desire to maintain distance became impossible after an employee asked if she could roll this on my neck before I went deep into the city for a book club. I spent the rest of that evening feeling the soothing effects on my neck and shoulders.
I’m hooked.

Sunday Morning Print | Jasmine Alexander

Not yet framed, this print of Sunday Morning by Jasmine Alexander is among my favourites. I adore her new series with the remnants of life, conversation, and flavour hanging in the air between the art and the viewer.

Portraits by Birdy Vinyl | Amazon

Perhaps the most listened-to album of my 2023 year. I have always adored Birdy and found her lyrics hit a deeper spot of truth that only a handful would know and understand. Birdy finds a way to reinvent herself in Portraits yet remains true to her excellent vocal core.
( Raincatchers, Your Arms, Tears Don’t Fall )

The Last Mrs. Parish by Liv Constantine | Secondhand via a Friend

If you’ve talked to me about books, you’ll know one of my all-time favourite rapid reads is “The Last Mrs.Parish.” After reading a library copy, I rushed to my local bookstores to find a copy to add to my shelf of favourite titles, only to find that all the copies printed since were printed with a different cover. For me, it felt like the new covers flew against the whole story experience, and I decided to wait to try to find a copy of the original prints. This was many years ago now.
Cut to this Autumn helping a friend sort through books she was done holding on to, and after I squealed in surprise at finding the original cover, she encouraged me to take it. I look forward to my next re-read of the prequel and this beautiful first edition sega.

Black Blundstones | Soft Moc

For a solid decade, everyone has told me I need to get a pair of blundstones. With their ability to last for what seems to be ‘forever’ and their versatility, it’s a wonder why it took me so long. The price is difficult to swallow, but I can honestly say that it was well spent. I hope NEVER to need to circle back to pick up a pair of walking boots. (At least not for a LONG time)

Exposure
Believing I was exposed to other races & cultures because my elementary school had one black family & one Muslim family.

Pocahontas 1995
For years, we sang and quoted every misplaced word and historical fact in that Disney musical.

“I don’t see colour.”
A normalized statement.

Asian Caricatures
I saw something amusing.  He saw something hurtful.

Accent Portrayals
Mimicking others’ speech patterns because it sounds amusing.

Slurs
Realizing this can be yelled at you from a distance.

Chinese Food in Canada.
All that takeout…’ Moo goo Gai Pan’ and the like … it’s catered to your North American palate.

*The authentic food is ordered on Mandarin / Cantonese menus*

Chinese Fortune Cookies
Not Chinese; they also do this for just ‘you.’

Knowing / Having
Friendships/relationships with those who are BIPOC or of different cultures do not mean you know ‘all’ experiences.

Racial Identity
It’s not based on appearance, language, or cultural exposure alone.
It’s Personal
It can change.

How Systematic Racism Rose It’s Ugly Head In & Around Me… is a small sample size personal reflection of how embedded racism existed within the culture, society, and actions around and subsequently found its passive voice within me. These items are not the only examples but the red flags that have cropped up clearly over the years.
Unravelling the limiting belief that I am ‘blameless’ in my actions and portrayals of those around me has been an eye-opening, decade-long, and ongoing journey. I still catch myself falling prey to stereotypes, belief systems, and catch-all phrases that continue harmful narratives.
Humanity is fallible, and it seems that, above all else, humanity loves to ‘other’ others.
In all of this, what I have learned to be true:

In setting aside ego, assumptions and critiques, we find open-heartedness, delightful surprises and real understanding.

I Never Promised I Would Stay Quiet About It… is a series of revelations, observations and citations on the topics and concepts often considered taboo.